ARTICLE FOR FRIDAY

Baby Firefly Dec 12, 2014 | 0Comments
Have a Very Zombie Christmas
"I saw Zombies eating Santa Claus"

HAVE A VERY ZOMBIE CHRISTMAS!

We've all seen them: those Santa photos that have gone horribly, horribly wrong. For all you know, you might have been one of those scarred-for-life kids but have repressed those memories. Or maybe it explains why Odd Larry from your office is so....odd.

But this article really isn't about creepy Santas. We just wanted to provide you with your daily dose of disturb to go with your coffee or Red Bull. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's get down to what this article is REALLY about: how to become the rockstar in your Zombie-lover friend's life. We've dug up some super cool Zombie toys that will make your Christmas tree fear for its life! Not that it could anyway, since it's already dead, but you get the point.











Dismember-Me Plush Zombie

Dismember-Me 12" Plush Zombie

Available at

What happens when you take old broken plush toys and bury them in the woods by the light of the full moon while whistling the theme song from "Halloween"? Unfortunately nothing...which is why the skillful design monkeys here at ThinkGeek were forced to come-up with our own scary (but cute) zombie plush. The Dismember-Me Plush Zombie begs to be torn limb from limb. After all he is a decaying re-animated corpse turned into irresistible cuddly plush. Rip off an arm... he doesn't mind. Tear him in half.. he'll barely notice. Pull off his legs... ok now he's getting a bit annoyed. Steal his brain... now you've really done it. Keep your teddy bears under close guard tonight because undead plush have come back from hell to walk the earth.



How to Speak Zombie: A Guide for the Living

How to Speak Zombie: A Guide for the Living

Available at

In a world overtaken by zombies, the only hope for survival lies in learning the language of the undead. How to Speak Zombie demonstrates how to blend in and avoid being eaten while carrying on with everyday activities like ordering a latte from a zombarista and shopping at a zombie-infested mall. This essential guide features an electronic sound module that demonstrates proper zombie pronunciation ("RAHHHhh!"), helpful text that explores the customs and etiquette of the zombie world, and detailed illustrations that show the undead doing everything from pumping iron to dancing the night away. Deeply informative, this handbook also includes an all-purpose BRAINS button that can be used in any situation, deadly or otherwise.



Werewolf Zombie Wall Sculpture

Werewolf Zombie Wall Sculpture

Available at

Emerging from the grave, this edgy shape shifter opens his powerful jaw in a silent, sharp toothed hiss that forewarns anyone who dares come near. Cast in quality designer resin and hand-painted with an almost illustrative quality. In his gruesome world, death comes bearing a mangled tongue and blood red eyes in a menacing image your guests will not soon forget. This two-dimensional, clever gothic Werewolf Zombie sculpt is - as you'd expect - found only at Design Toscano! 5½"Wx4½"Dx7½"H. 1 lb.



So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead

So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead

Available at

Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. It’s difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, it’s you.) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains!!!

What’s a zombie to do?

Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a newly undead soul, to hunt, fight, and feed on the living. As the first handbook written specifically for the undead, So Now You’re a Zombie explains how you ended up in this predicament, the stages of zombification, and what you need to survive in this zombiphobic world. Dozens of helpful diagrams outline attack strategies, such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zack, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall, to secure your human prey. You’ll even learn how to successfully extract the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles. This handbook also explores the upside of being a zombie. Gone are the burdens of employment, taxes, social networks, even basic hygiene, allowing you to focus on simple necessities in “life”: the juicy gray matter found in the skulls of the living.



Chia Zombie - Restless Arm

Chia Zombie - Restless Arm

Available at

A Zombified spin on the quintessential white elephant gift. Perfect for gift exchange parties or when you get stuck being the Secret Santa to your nemesis.

The Chia Pet Zombie collection is ghoulish, scary and frighteningly fun! Comes with a convenient plastic drip tray and chia seed packets for 3 plantings. Planting and care instructions included. Expect to see a luxurious chia coat in about two weeks.



The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead

The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead

Available at

From the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, World War Z, The Zombie Survival Guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. Fully illustrated and exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain.

Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

Don’t be carefree and foolish with your most precious asset—life. This book is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now without your even knowing it. The Zombie Survival Guide offers complete protection through trusted, proven tips for safeguarding yourself and your loved ones against the living dead. It is a book that can save your life.



Walking Ginger Dead Undead Zombie Gingerbread Cookie Kit

Walking Ginger Dead Undead Zombie Gingerbread Cookie Kit

Available at

The value in this is the cookie cutters. Re-use them for your next Halloween party or Zombie get-together.

Contains gingerbread mix, royal icing mix, red and black icing pens, decorating candy, piping bag, and four hideously beautiful cookie cutters. Makes 10 cookies.



Zombie Wrapping Paper Set

Zombie Wrapping Paper Set

Available at

There is an enormous number of gruesome and ghoulish gifts and goodies out there. It's not easy to find just the right wrapping paper for that Walking Dead Bluray or that I Heart Zombies shirt. When kittens, flowers, balloons, or jolly reindeer just won't cut it to wrap those flesh-eating-ghoul-gifts for the zombie enthusiast in your life, you need awesome Zombie Gift Wrap.

To celebrate our GRAND OPENING, we are giving away a SIGNED, limited edition box set of Clive Barker's BOOKS OF BLOOD.

13 Horror Street

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